Today I read the words, “We choose hope.” Though I can’t say why the words made me pause.
Hope.
It is such a beautiful word. It is that lovely illusion of what might be if the stars line up right; that world that could possibly exist if I cross my fingers and toes tightly enough. I thought about what I’ve hoped for over my lifetime. I’ve hoped endless hopes from trite to sublime. I don't remember a day I didn’t hope.
I started with a child’s hopes: for presents and toys and snow days from school. Then it was straighter hair, a new outfit, a day at the beach and, of course, the cute boyfriend du jour. Over time hope morphed to include a home, a family, a pretty garden and flowers, the luxury of a captivating book and maybe a good cup of coffee.
Hope never sat idle. One day I found myself hoping for cures and miracles, and progress and words, and a place to fit in. Some of those hopes became reality and some did not, and they fell outside the realm of possible. I never regretted the unrealized hopes. They served as the conduit that took me through the challenging days and shined a light forward. Hope propelled me into tomorrow.
And those hopes that fell by the wayside unfulfilled? Though their time has passed, I hold those particular hopes dear. They remain in a special place, saved for those who will come after us.
So what of today? Yes, I choose hope. I will always choose hope. I can't imagine a future without hope. And so for now, I hope for Sam’s safety. I hope for his happiness. I hope he will understand when I am no longer here that I would never willingly leave him. I hope he will always know love. I hope one day he finds his place. I hope we all find our place.
