tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82208021059831482942024-02-21T13:35:18.666-05:00Blending with autismBlending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.comBlogger117125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-27707850124576860252017-09-02T17:08:00.001-04:002017-09-02T17:19:24.068-04:00I miss you<div style="color: #1d2129; font-family: 'SF Optimized', system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, '.SFNSText-Regular', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.11999999731779099px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgap89Hi-DvH_n9KiL5qjX734GPIOSkiiuP29Zbv894W1TA-SKlWmCkVEtDVJpVlZQ2-pSB41fHPypm_Am90rCYSGiUfGj0jPMiUfE-XPfCTAVfFxhXUVdpqI3_5d7YLHUMNxzNMrmY3TUJ/s1600/20953143_1249086668536847_739519372337768356_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgap89Hi-DvH_n9KiL5qjX734GPIOSkiiuP29Zbv894W1TA-SKlWmCkVEtDVJpVlZQ2-pSB41fHPypm_Am90rCYSGiUfGj0jPMiUfE-XPfCTAVfFxhXUVdpqI3_5d7YLHUMNxzNMrmY3TUJ/s320/20953143_1249086668536847_739519372337768356_n.jpg" width="240" /></a>A few weeks ago Sam made the big move to adult services. I hoped the transition would be smooth. I did my best to prepare him and talk about the new friends he would meet. </div>
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But what about Sam's old friends. All those people he would no longer see. Would he miss them? When communication is the challenge, it is hard to know. Sam seemed to sail through the transition. He didn't ask about school. But then Sam rarely asks. </div>
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I wondered similarly when we lost my father. Did Sam miss<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;"> him? Did he understand that loss? Just as I was about to give in to the notion that I would never know, I had a thought:</span></div>
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I asked Sam if he wanted to text MaryKate, his favorite teacher from school. "Yes MaryKate" he said. I opened up the text box to MaryKate and saying anything more, I my phone to Sam. </div>
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To Sam, my phone is like gold with its anywhere, anytime access to YouTube. I expected him to immediately switch to Elmo videos - that's what he usually does. </div>
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I was wrong. He stared at the phone for a long time and said, "MaryKate." Then he typed:</div>
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Marykate happened to see the text and answered quickly. They texted back and forth for a few minutes, mostly about missing her and a visit on Tuesday. He chanted "MaryKate Tuesday" most of the weekend. </div>
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I asked if he wanted to talk to anyone else. He asked for Tom and Megan. In the email to Megan he listed others he was thinking of. </div>
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Sam has been asking for my father all of a sudden, too. I'm guessing he thinks I have him hidden somewhere, like MaryKate. My father would like that. While I can't make my dad magically appear, I do have the means to keep Sam connected with many who have been important in his life.</div>
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To that elite group who've made their way into Sam's heart - even those from long ago -<span style="font-family: inherit;"> it is safe to say you are there to stay as long as you are willing</span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Moral? I can guess and guess. Outward appearances can't be trusted. I don't know what I don't know.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilIrp1OvoULqksDdQLWcDf50YGE6eJwLPsuuYzcTEY5Akexr4ZZPhP36oKUBT9jmM2-yPZFP_RGSnZ3mBrXW9kTTCoqmfWFRYb83bY9a0XK-nKNWB54MimSLGf-yNGDzvIJz1CQm9bhgOY/s1600/20952991_1249086641870183_846466826981165489_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="539" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilIrp1OvoULqksDdQLWcDf50YGE6eJwLPsuuYzcTEY5Akexr4ZZPhP36oKUBT9jmM2-yPZFP_RGSnZ3mBrXW9kTTCoqmfWFRYb83bY9a0XK-nKNWB54MimSLGf-yNGDzvIJz1CQm9bhgOY/s320/20952991_1249086641870183_846466826981165489_n.jpg" width="179" /></a></div>
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Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-25563113237444885042016-02-06T14:23:00.001-05:002019-03-05T20:54:48.277-05:00Flying Away<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial;">
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I always have a nest or two of baby birds at my front door. I wait expectantly each spring to see who my new neighbors might be. A robin or a wren? Maybe a finch. No matter the breed. I catch a glimpse of the nest and count the eggs. I marvel the day the little birds hatch. </div>
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I like watching the Mama bird hover nearby. She screeches in distress and flies about threateningly when humans linger too long by her nest. Though she is small and seemingly defenseless, she bravely protects her babies as she nurtures and prepares them for the world beyond my doorstep; as she prepares them for the gift of freedom.<br />
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Baby birds grow quickly. Within days they are flapping their wings, hopping around in their nest, readying themselves for what comes next. They know no fear. All too soon they take that inevitable leap of faith out of the safety of their nest, into my yard. They begin their new life. Mama bird has prepared them well. </div>
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Over the years my doorway has provided the safe haven for many nests. I miss them when they leave. Like their Mama, I hope they will be safe.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEignbIRfp-tKgg7IypxUrBwMV3K0KzgriQgWO4aN-aum6wPcZa3liV20jkUQCPGC-qFXuhRWTdLwGWlUuRg1svfgcmUR_a65alVUxpmno1WAH8ds4gKFmWiTnIeT5dwUHdEmLz_xBhYJzi8/s1600/10348217_10202241557342922_8918317417984578323_n.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEignbIRfp-tKgg7IypxUrBwMV3K0KzgriQgWO4aN-aum6wPcZa3liV20jkUQCPGC-qFXuhRWTdLwGWlUuRg1svfgcmUR_a65alVUxpmno1WAH8ds4gKFmWiTnIeT5dwUHdEmLz_xBhYJzi8/s200/10348217_10202241557342922_8918317417984578323_n.jpg" width="150" /></a>As the February days grow steadily longer, I know it will soon be time for a new Mama bird to begin building her nest. As I think of this year's Mama bird, I am aware how I parallel her movements.<br />
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Most mothers got through the process of readying their young. It takes far more than weeks for humans of course. But whether it is weeks or years, the single-minded focus of a mother cuts across most species when it comes to preparing and protecting their young.<br />
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Like the Mama bird, I hover over Sam, trying to teach, prepare and ready him our eventual parting. Like the baby birds in the nest, Sam knows no fear. He has no worry of tomorrow. He bravely tackles each new endeavor. Like the Mama bird, I am aware of every threat. One day he will begin a life without me. </div>
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Last year I saw the baby robins on their last day, teetering on the edge of the nest. I knew they were ready to go. I looked away for a moment and looked back in time to see the last one fly off. I watched a while hoping they might return, knowing they would not be back. This time, I cried for a moment knowing they were gone for good. I'd hoped for one more day. It is always sad when the baby birds go. It will be far more difficult to let Sam go. Freedom, however, is a wonderful gift.<br />
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Experience tells me time is short. We have to be ready. There is more learning to be done. So like the Mama bird, I continue to hover near, hoping one day Sam, too, will be ready to fly while wishing he still might stay.<br />
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Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-55738884132378203082015-12-17T10:20:00.002-05:002016-09-14T09:19:28.314-04:00About those candles<div style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
Think of this as a Throw Back Thursday with a modern day twist. I am writing this on a Thursday, after all.<br />
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It began like this: Many years ago we were invited to a late spring get together in Princeton. Though it was an evening event, Sam was included – a rarity for us. On the appointed evening we drove to the home and lo and behold, the front yard was lit with votive candles and luminaries. It was very lovely. There must have been 500 of them in every imaginable shape and size, lining the walkway, the porch, the borders of the property. There were candles everywhere.<br />
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Plot twist. Sam had a thing about candles. He didn't think they should be lit. Ever. As we emerged from the car, Sam escaped and quickly blew out about 10 or 15 candles. We quickly ushered him into the house and hovered between the backyard and the kitchen. Almost no candles in sight. A safe domain. Or so we thought.<br />
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Sam has the memory of an elephant, so it was no surprise when he grew agitated as the night wore on. "Blow out the candles" he plaintively repeated again and again. His anxiety level escalated. He was determined to get to the front yard. There were candles that needed to be blown out and he was the guy to do it.<br />
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Sensing an epic meltdown in the offing, I told Tony we needed to go. Now. I had a plan: take Sam around the side of the house, skirt the 500 candles and get into the car.<br />
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Sometimes the plan doesn't work.<br />
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We rounded the corner. Using his Houdini skill, Sam broke free. He quickly attacked the first bunch of votive candles. Then the next. I tried to pull Sam into the car. His superhuman strength kicked in. He had a mission. He was saving the world from luminary candles. It became increasingly clear we were not leaving until every candle was blown out.<br />
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There was only one thing to do. I needed to help. We divided and conquered the candles. All of them.<br />
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It's amazing how quickly you can extinguish 500 candles. Surprisingly no one came or left during the candle elimination process. Tony assessed the yard. He asked if I thought we should inform our host. I probably should have said yes. It would have been the polite thing to do. I instead chose the cowardly solution: make a quick get away. Maybe they'd think a big gust of wind had blown the candles out. Maybe they'd believe there were Martians on Mars.<br />
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The next day, Tony confessed and apologized to our host and explained our need to leave quickly without a proper goodbye.... and about the candles. Our host very nice about it. He claimed they didn't notice.<br />
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This all would have remained a dim memory were it not for an email that arrived yesterday afternoon: Tony forwarded to me an invitation to a New Years Day potluck party. In Princeton.<br />
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Princeton. Princeton. I had an instant flashback. Candles. Endless candles. Crazy people running around some guys front yard. Blowing out candles... I quickly shot back an email saying, "Is this candle guy's house??" Tony responded with a simple, "Yes."<br />
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Oh, my. What lovely people to include us again. I wonder if they still have all the candles.</div>
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Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-79430672933284408942015-09-26T08:06:00.001-04:002019-03-05T20:59:13.676-05:00Learning to bend<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj53OvG-YwKHkOd3kayDNLqXHgyG77LFWYf9Lh3wThVorHq-UeHbq6jjlvcKIkYHPyDOyu36s0rGQySzUzxzA34XInzskbjCpC4uJEpG8zls0XbIMl46QkoQPPvvQ9EBArdg5NG1OIbZP4E/s1600/11754921_740066966105489_1979938953461907500_o.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj53OvG-YwKHkOd3kayDNLqXHgyG77LFWYf9Lh3wThVorHq-UeHbq6jjlvcKIkYHPyDOyu36s0rGQySzUzxzA34XInzskbjCpC4uJEpG8zls0XbIMl46QkoQPPvvQ9EBArdg5NG1OIbZP4E/s320/11754921_740066966105489_1979938953461907500_o.jpg" width="239" /></a><span style="color: #262626; font-family: "lucida grande"; font-size: 11.0pt;">We were in the company of a young man around Sam’s age one day this summer. We didn’t know his story – our paths were only destined to cross that one time. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At first glance it appeared his skill set was more advanced than Sam’s – he had the gift of language. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "lucida grande"; font-size: 11.0pt;">It became clear the young man’s needs were great. His communication skills were not enough to get him through an unfamiliar environment and a change in plans. While Sam needed supports, at this moment this young man needed more. We accommodated by asking Sam to be patient and let the young man go ahead of us. We asked Sam to tolerate noise that would have otherwise been a challenge.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "lucida grande"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Though he hasn’t had much practice, Sam was able to bend for a peer that day. He waited patiently and showed empathy, asking if the young man was OK, trying to pat his shoulder. I was proud of Sam’s generous spirit. I was glad he wanted to help.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "lucida grande";"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Over the years, we've expected others to make </span><span style="font-size: 15px;">accommodations</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> for Sam hundreds upon hundreds of times. It got me to thinking how much we live y our own world not realizing how much we ask of those around us. I like to think each offer of patience provided the grace notes Sam needed to develop the coping skills he used to accommodate this young man.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "lucida grande"; font-size: 11.0pt;">It also reminded me the world isn’t only about us; the world can’t only revolve round Sam’s needs. It is important for Sam to learn to bend and to give back – even if only a little. That’s what community is about, each of us doing what we can to ensure the success of one another. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "lucida grande"; font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span> <span style="color: #262626; font-family: "lucida grande"; font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span>Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-27413707801454874632015-09-24T17:51:00.000-04:002016-02-12T14:50:38.222-05:00The blue sneakers<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
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For reasons unknown to me, Sam is interested in meeting new people, calling out an enthusiastic “Hi” to people as they pass by. Because Sam hasn’t developed a knack for securing joint attention before he speaks his success rate is spotty: some people answer back. Some do not. Fortunately, Sam is blessed with tenacity, resilience and a healthy self-esteem. He simply tries again. Or moves on. His success or failure doesn't dampen his enthusiasm for future encounters.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I've been watching Sam from the sidelines. I enjoy seeing each attempt unfold; watching the interactions. They usually consist of a quick “hello and how are you” before everyone moves on to their day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Sam: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Hi Diane</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Diane: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Hi Sam</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Sam: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>How are you?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Diane: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm fine. How are you?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Sam: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I'm good... (long pause) I like your shoes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Diane: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">For the first few seconds, it was a conversation anyone might have. And then it wasn’t as Sam abruptly bent down to get a closer look at her feet. He must have really liked her shoes. On his hands and knees, he felt the fabric of her blue shoes and explored their rubber trim. Diane didn’t seem to mind. </span>A moment later he flashed a smile as he popped back up saying, “good blue shoes” and turned his attention to some newer faces.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXckAsQYLqNyHJ3xQNc5LEJSluDxrUQYtHyiw38766RYm4aA58ToJgpZ2gxo4KXkAmIio1DZL6c330lPdTfoL1E84itp2_dwUqCrc7Po32x5l_fqxCBgF8N_XKEUOOKRm9AGmU3C28Y9u0/s1600/12011180_761447427300776_5396537684619226224_n.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXckAsQYLqNyHJ3xQNc5LEJSluDxrUQYtHyiw38766RYm4aA58ToJgpZ2gxo4KXkAmIio1DZL6c330lPdTfoL1E84itp2_dwUqCrc7Po32x5l_fqxCBgF8N_XKEUOOKRm9AGmU3C28Y9u0/s320/12011180_761447427300776_5396537684619226224_n.jpg" width="265" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">That’s how it is with Sam. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">It's tricky finding the balance between intruding on the space of another while allowing Sam the freedom to explore and learn to navigate the social arena. There was a time when I might have jumped in and re-directed. I’ve learned to step back a little more and allow Sam the time to think and develop in a way that suits him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">These are exciting times for Sam. He’s pushing some through some new boundaries because he wants to – not because someone thinks he should. He’s enjoying these new interactions. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">And I have the privilege of having a front row seat watching grow into his own unique Sam. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><i style="font-size: 14px;">Follow us on Facebook at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism">https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism</a></i></span></div>
Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-24113505515160612312015-09-19T13:54:00.002-04:002016-02-12T14:52:59.427-05:00Thoughts of tomorrow<div class="_1dwg" style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; padding: 12px 12px 0px;">
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Today we made a morning stop at the blood lab to check all Sam's levels because his seizures persist. We're trying to figure out the culprit - low sodium levels caused by one of the meds or perhaps he isn't at a therapeutic dose for the new medication. Or maybe this isn't the right medication at all. </div>
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Being a Saturday morning, the hospital was quiet and easy to maneuver. While we waited, we heard, "You can come in, Maria" to a family accompanying their grandmother. Sam turned to them with a big smile and sing-songed at them, "Mar-ri-ia" to their delight.</div>
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Sam greeted the two phlebotomists with a big smile. It took him a while but he answered their questions about his name and date of birth. Everything went smoothly and Sam jumped up and announced it was "treat time." He would like a chocolate chip cookie, thank you very much. The staff waved goodbye and wished us well. </div>
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Next stop, coffee stand for reward time. Sam, still sporting his smile chose a chocolate donut instead. The person nearby looked up and began smiling too.</div>
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When I noticed I had forgotten my cell phone we headed back to the hospital - the security folks help us and took a moment to chat with Sam. On our way to the door, Sam suddenly turned, calling, "Hello Ethan!" to a man to our left. The man glanced over and I said, "You must look a lot like someone named Ethan because my son is very eager to greet you." He stopped to talk for a moment to Sam and then lamented to me that he'd rather "look like Robert Redford." </div>
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As I drove home, I reflected on how positive the morning had shaped up. Sam is so much more comfortable - even interactive - with people these days, in spite of his communication challenges. He has an easy smile that seems to put people at ease. </div>
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As with other mornings like these, the crystal ball of Sam's future tells me to worry less about his happiness when I am no longer part of his life. He will carve a path and find happiness wherever he is. It is his nature. </div>
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That is only half of the story.</div>
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Later this morning I watched Sam become agitated at home. The familiar roars and number yelling surfaced as he ran around the house screaming and crashing into walls. I sat with Sam as he scripted random lines and verses until he finally calmed down enough for me to figure out his stomach was upset. The earlier donut had come back to haunt us. </div>
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The happy guy I described and the out of control young man in the last paragraph are both part of the Sam I live with daily; the Sam I love. </div>
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Happiness isn't the only measure of Sam's future success. While I may have confidence that Sam will find happiness where ever he goes, without the ability to communicate in moments of duress, Sam's safety will alway be at risk. His health will be at risk. And I have no solution for that. So while I don't really care at this juncture what caused his autism or that autism is part of our lives, I care passionately about treatments that might one day ensure his safety and provide him inner peace.<br />
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Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-53900655718231061882015-09-11T12:16:00.002-04:002016-02-12T14:55:29.223-05:00The Boat<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">Lining up, bag in hand. </span></i></td></tr>
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It’s our Sunday night ritual in the summer. We catch the 6:15 boat from Nantucket and head home. The boat workers have come to know us. They’ve watched Sam grow up. They make small accommodations for him that makes it easier for Sam and me. Many of the passengers have grown just as familiar. After years of practice, we have it down to a routine.</div>
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Being Labor Day, last weekend was different. The 6:15 boat was sold out so we took the later boat. Everything went seamlessly. One of the boat staff called out, “You’re going home late, Mr. Dog.” We sat as we always do chatting with nearby travelers.</div>
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As we arrived near the dock, the usual flurry of activity occurred as some people began to line up. A woman from behind approached my sister politely saying, “May I?” asking to pat Mr. Dog. Sam was standing nearby drinking – or rather happily slurping his soda, unaware of the commotion. He’d recently learned to drink soda from a can by employing an impressively loud slurp.</div>
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Above the low din of our fellow travelers, I heard the woman from behind address Sam saying, “Only babies drink soda like that.” I looked over to my sister, perplexed. Was the woman joking?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam continued drinking his soda for a few seconds longer and stopped. The story would have ended there with the woman’s intent unknown. Except Sam’s soda can wasn't yet empty.</div>
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Sam resumed his loud slurping, sucking out the last drops of soda from his can. The woman spoke again, addressing him more firmly, her voice cutting through the buzz of people collecting their bags, “Has anyone told you it is rude to slurp like that?!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was taken off guard. I didn’t speak. I looked instinctively to Sam. He was smiling serenely, smiling his sweet Sam smile.</div>
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My sister turned protectively. To the woman, she said, “He is autistic.” Then she added, “You should think before you speak.” The woman looked away as she replied, “I didn’t know. Thank you for telling me…. I’m sorry…” A moment later she was gone. A nearby older woman caught my sister’s eye and nodded to her affirmatively. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">Labor Day weekend. Marking summer's end on Nantucket. </span></i></td></tr>
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Then I heard Sam speak as he smiled again. He seemed to sum up the preceding minutes by saying, “This is turning into a difficult situation!” As I assured him the situation was just fine, I had to wonder how much he understood.<br />
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On the drive home, I thought about the woman. Clearly she felt badly for her words. That troubled me. I don’t want anyone to feel bad. Still I was glad my sister was able to speak up on Sam’s behalf when I wasn’t.</div>
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The takeaway? I don't know. Maybe simply a reminder to resist judging. Things are not always what they seem. Some disabilities are not always visible to the naked eye. A little tolerance goes a long way.<br />
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Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-30650914990373140662014-08-01T15:07:00.002-04:002016-09-14T09:20:59.231-04:00For just one day<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">I am forgetting autism for
just one day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">I am going to rub my eyes and
see only Sam for just one day. I will not see his actions through the lens of autism.
When Sam echoes my words I will see the compliment in his imitation of me. If
he speaks in gibberish I will enjoy the melody of his voice without of
prompting a sentence back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">For just one day I will
let Sam be. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">For just one day I won’t
care that people judge or watch us curiously. I will not use the yardstick
of others. I will not measure Sam in any way. I will simply see the sparkle in
his eyes and enjoy the warmth of his smile. I will watch his favorite movies
again and again. I will recite familiar words and appreciate their power to
connect us. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6MrRzpJqvzXWrepOy3cpS5FWIgaSpZQPCmHxxcIzlzLXTGTn1zMYgQig0JNsbN_CYo_dT7p_dudM5C9kR0CO9JWxfOl13rko7LeaEboNnhLHrCkwpM1ItgFa4gR8AbS40KIvynch2_Au3/s1600/photo%5B5%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6MrRzpJqvzXWrepOy3cpS5FWIgaSpZQPCmHxxcIzlzLXTGTn1zMYgQig0JNsbN_CYo_dT7p_dudM5C9kR0CO9JWxfOl13rko7LeaEboNnhLHrCkwpM1ItgFa4gR8AbS40KIvynch2_Au3/s1600/photo%5B5%5D.JPG" width="225" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial";">For just one day follow
Sam’s lead. I will laugh until it hurts. I will color happy colors and sing
happy songs. I will live in the moment. I will forget about tomorrow. I will delight
in what I have. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">I will fight no fights. I
will put the soapboxes away. I will brush all worries to one side. For just one
day I will leave autism behind what spend time with the boy who makes my life
complete. For just one day we will be. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">And when I return to tomorrow's planning, I will remember the boy and not the autism. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><br /></span>
<i>Follow us on Facebook at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism">https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism</a></i><br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-78252933953276517822014-07-17T09:12:00.000-04:002016-02-12T15:01:44.100-05:00A road to happily ever after<div class="MsoNormal">
Sam is tired. I am tired, too. It has been a long, stressful hour. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are both tired and weary warriors fighting separate yet related battles. We've fought this battle before. We know it well. Neither of us wants to be in this dark place. But here we are. I watch the troubled look in Sam’s eyes. I see him begin to lash out and quickly restrain himself. I see his pain. For the next twenty minutes, we repeat this sequence many times.<br />
</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After an impressively long string of near perfect behavior, Sam has inexplicably changed, defaulting to unpredictable actions. The prevailing mood is tense. Where did this come from?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I step back and wait. It is quiet. As suddenly as the behavior began it is over. Within minutes, a seizure follows. Was that behind the unexpected behavior? The answer is perhaps locked in Sam’s mind. He cannot or will not tell me.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sam looks up at me from the seizure, confused. Finally, he speaks: “Tongue hurts.” “I’m sorry.” I respond automatically as I help him. He has no memory of the seizure. He does remember the behavior. In acknowledgment, he offers up, “Sorry Mommy. Sorry, Josh. Sorry, Mr. Dog.” In the next hour, he will apologize to just about everyone he knows. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps even some he doesn’t.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A friend points out that 135 days of near perfect behavior is amazing for any person; she is right. I know this. Still I am sad. I want the impossible. I want happily ever after. I want the fairy tale.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I watch Sam settle. I say a silent prayer that this is a brief detour; a blip. I will it to be so. The chorus of “Sorry Mommy, sorry Josh” plays its final round. This is a positive sign I think. I hope. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Exhausted from the behavior, exhausted from the seizure, a moment later he is fast asleep.</div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieL6x9WgdrloF3ueCxIWmvgMx-8-5f_NSKG0KYzjJU37bJq54YjHHzXu1r7NymnfQ-eEDIgwn_oRg0Rv6pCDvLlyuz-Z7NMbHD00BhyphenhyphenXihmEhfBGc_tO5Vjj5QYV2tVxREaFA66XC_PCr7/s1600/wizard+of+oz+sil.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="261" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieL6x9WgdrloF3ueCxIWmvgMx-8-5f_NSKG0KYzjJU37bJq54YjHHzXu1r7NymnfQ-eEDIgwn_oRg0Rv6pCDvLlyuz-Z7NMbHD00BhyphenhyphenXihmEhfBGc_tO5Vjj5QYV2tVxREaFA66XC_PCr7/s1600/wizard+of+oz+sil.jpg" width="320" /></a>We wake the following morning to find the sun is shining once more. The sun continues to shine on the days that follow. They bring continued calm, new hope. I remind myself we are a work in progress, there are no fairy tales. We will never travel a straight line, there will be bumps, twists, and turns. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We will find our way.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Follow us on Facebook at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism">https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism</a></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-59939195782066770862014-07-06T12:34:00.002-04:002017-09-02T16:47:40.368-04:00Close your eyes<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I know his secrets. I know he was restless again last night. I can see fatigue in his eyes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“Are you tired?” I ask. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“No,” he says as I watch him yawn. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“Shall I hold you?” I offer.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“Yes,” he says as he lifts his head for me to cradle him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At nineteen he still looks at me imploringly, willing me to know his needs. With a look that says fix it. Make me feel right. And though he towers over me now, though his childhood years are behind him, I hold him as I always have. Today I know he needs sleep. I know like a young child, he resists leaving conscience thought. He can't find his way to slumber.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“Close your eyes,” I say. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“No close your eyes,” he replies. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“Just close them for a minute,” I suggest. "</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Just rest your eyes."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He accepts the compromise. Within a minute, his eyelids stop twitching. His body relaxes. I hold him until his breathing grows slow and steady. I carefully move my arm away. Then I inch away. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the soft light of the afternoon sun, I watch him. At peace. Aware I still have the power to make his world feel safe. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And I wonder about tomorrow.</span><span style="font-family: "courier";"></span><br />
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Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-17643109052344239892014-05-30T10:26:00.000-04:002016-02-12T15:03:30.185-05:00Freedom to run<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam bolted. </i></div>
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That brief entry in Sam’s notebook by his behaviorist threw me into complete distress. Funny how certain words can trigger such intense reactions. Sam’s history of bolting is long and intense. Though Sam hasn’t bolted in nearly two years, those two words threw me into a panic as if he had never stopped.</div>
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Every worst-case scenario flashed quickly before me. I transported back to frantic chases in the dark. The terror of not knowing where to look; the fear Sam would put himself in harm’s way. Those were dark days.</div>
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I shot off a couple off hurried emails expressing my concern. </div>
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The situation was benign and my concerns unfounded. Mr. Dog was the instigator. Sam was doing his best to hold onto him while Mr. Dog was busy being, well, Mr. Dog. Finally, Sam gave in to Mr. Dog’s impulse and ran as Mr. Dog pulled him down the driveway. </div>
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There was a bigger story here that was not reflected in the notebook: Sam stopped when he was called to stop. He stopped dead in his tracks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>More surprisingly, Mr. Dog to stopped, too. What I thought was an alarming event turned out to be okay. Even worthy of celebration. Two years ago, the words “Sam bolted” would have ended in a very different way.</div>
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Still, by the behaviorists’ definition, it was a bolt because Sam had unexpectedly run more than five feet. "Sam should never run?" I asked. "We aren't saying that – we just note it as a bolt because it was unexpected." But who stops to announce "I'm going to run now?" Running is often a very spontaneous event. </div>
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It felt as though we were still saying Sam could never spontaneously run. Never is a firm word. No<br />
wiggle room there. After spending the better part of ten years teaching Sam not to run I was struck by what felt like a loss of freedom for Sam. I didn’t like it.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmtLLjr1pdQindYtGVWbFYCRg__fXpEqjw0JWQg76sZm2671gz93H0OsnkDyQsxKuW4zvVf3b84mH5YhnvMpqcSXC3K_VWToFPEhd_XCLyMRAehMOrpHnueYn6zrbUbO0oAfw1PGXHhtt-/s1600/10294303_10202035351507905_5016746782970858019_n.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmtLLjr1pdQindYtGVWbFYCRg__fXpEqjw0JWQg76sZm2671gz93H0OsnkDyQsxKuW4zvVf3b84mH5YhnvMpqcSXC3K_VWToFPEhd_XCLyMRAehMOrpHnueYn6zrbUbO0oAfw1PGXHhtt-/s1600/10294303_10202035351507905_5016746782970858019_n.jpg" width="300" /></a>The fact is, Sam is in a good place now. I think his days of bolting are behind him. When Sam runs I don’t see the anguish, I see joy. Yes, the mom who insisted Sam stop running for so many years wants him to run.</div>
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It’s about freedom; providing Sam as much freedom as possible. It's about trust. It's about believing more is possible.</div>
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I want Sam to know the exhilaration of running freely. He is young. He has strong legs built for running. And for the first time, he is running with an eye toward safety. He stops when we call. I want to encourage that. Who knows, maybe this skill will transfer over should he encounter a moment of danger one day. This is unchartered territory: this notion to allow Sam to run freely and trust he will listen, stay safe and always return.<br />
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Still, I think it is time to try.</div>
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Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-89597849430049962062014-04-25T16:16:00.002-04:002016-02-12T15:04:15.567-05:00Perceptions<div class="MsoNormal">
She leaned into me saying, “Let’s face it. We all have our challenges.”</div>
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With that, she shot a meaningful glance over at Sam and quickly looked back at me. It took a moment for what she’d said to register. To understand the implication. I put my coffee down and wrapped my arm around Sam as if to protect him. He was busy, head down, playing hangman. It was all but impossible to tell if he had been listening.</div>
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I quickly changed the subject worried what Sam might glean from this conversation. Sam focused on his game, though. Her innuendo hadn’t registered.</div>
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I wondered, how could her perception of my life could be so far off base? Still, I didn't correct her. I didn't try to convince her of the happiness in my home. She would still see heartache. Hardship. A mistake. People see what they want to see. I no longer waste my energy that way.</div>
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Yes. We all have our challenges. I surely have mine.</div>
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I wish I had a better attention span. I wish most days had more hours. It would be nice if Mr. Dog stopped chewing my chairs and stayed off the beds. I’d like a good night’s sleep. Finding time for a haircut would be a luxury. More order in my universe, nirvana.</div>
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These are garden-variety challenges. The kind you moan about over lunch with a good friend and quickly dismiss. I don’t think I’ve ever used the words “Sam” and “challenge” in the same sentence, though.</div>
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I’ve had it good: I’ve had the benefit of caring parents, a good education, a happy home filled with family and many thoughtful friends. And I have Sam. Beautiful, glorious Sam.<br />
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Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-765683513176858972014-03-18T15:44:00.000-04:002016-02-12T15:05:11.668-05:00The Yellow Chair<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">“Bahamas.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">“What did you say, Sam?” I asked. Sam plopped on my bed in his usual position and responded definitively, “Bahamas.” I glanced at his iPod to see if he was watching something about the Bahamas. He was watching Blues Clues - something about Side Table wanting to be in a show. Nope. Nothing about the Bahamas.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">“Bahamas,” Sam said again, making it clear this was the topic he wanted to discuss. Sam had never mentioned the Bahamas before. I didn’t know he knew the word, let alone the place. That mattered little. When Sam wants to talk, we talk.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"OK. The Bahamas." I said. "What about the Bahamas?" Sam responded, "White sandy beaches. Turquoise water."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I laughed and said, "Yes you are right. Are you a travel agent?" Maybe he had seen some TV ads or a video on YouTube. "Tell me more about the Bahamas," I asked.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sam added in rapid succession: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Big window. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Blue slide. Yellow slide.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yuck in the water.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Bubble in the water.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Under in the sea.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Under the bridge.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yellow chair."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br />Wow. A lot of information. I had a feeling it related to something but I didn't know what. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Why were the Bahamas on Sam's mind? Sam had visited the Bahamas two times, true, but the last trip was well over ten years ago. I'd never seen evidence he remembered back that far. So what was this sudden interest in the Bahamas? Where did a yellow chair fit in? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br />I tried to get Sam to chat a little more but for Sam, the conversation was over. He had turned his attention back to Side Table and her problem about getting a chance to perform in the show. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This morning something clicked. I had recently scanned some photos and loaded them onto my phone. Sam always plays with my phone. Buried in with the recent photos was this:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGBjIoshsPnLwWB5fF9dIfKF4xu3fyMrh74J7x0PU7pmyS7IVElL9b135G6do96ZLhehBKFSQStCeNTbZo9ClRe2W5RyPNVoBlz-TkZjVKggm8J7e7izoMAQRUMJ97OYNALU5FYOfBfg22/s1600/25413_1230989337426_8269477_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGBjIoshsPnLwWB5fF9dIfKF4xu3fyMrh74J7x0PU7pmyS7IVElL9b135G6do96ZLhehBKFSQStCeNTbZo9ClRe2W5RyPNVoBlz-TkZjVKggm8J7e7izoMAQRUMJ97OYNALU5FYOfBfg22/s1600/25413_1230989337426_8269477_n.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4vfLFLZIVTKiTaA7vZlzgBVRKizbkjnQVONvqxTs534uWMfDrlCQFkzb6xIdYuRLT2OftwIDoXarObrYCKopFevAa4AO9ZzSng-fJEQd4iur-Xe7ONohHGeC3q-A1mIaO5uqA_wH1NmNV/s1600/196662_1603793417295_8102545_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4vfLFLZIVTKiTaA7vZlzgBVRKizbkjnQVONvqxTs534uWMfDrlCQFkzb6xIdYuRLT2OftwIDoXarObrYCKopFevAa4AO9ZzSng-fJEQd4iur-Xe7ONohHGeC3q-A1mIaO5uqA_wH1NmNV/s1600/196662_1603793417295_8102545_n.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The yellow chair. Taken in the Bahamas when Sam was five. A few photos later was this:</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIybiLqocnmNhVQUsIzzZ4IRsOHOtWNwf9TyQ4BHV-qoNmfVrLDyWT8fCgrDspKWNsVQW9PUPPksMuEk8hArogAcwnvsHAf-L1cdKN3U3eguKv_Slxn5LLvhRs_aTNaCbEoSiAnlJhA6Pz/s1600/200107_1603792937283_5976456_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIybiLqocnmNhVQUsIzzZ4IRsOHOtWNwf9TyQ4BHV-qoNmfVrLDyWT8fCgrDspKWNsVQW9PUPPksMuEk8hArogAcwnvsHAf-L1cdKN3U3eguKv_Slxn5LLvhRs_aTNaCbEoSiAnlJhA6Pz/s1600/200107_1603792937283_5976456_n.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Taken under one of the bridges in Atlantis, the fish blowing bubbles.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Though I only had these three pictures, it was all there. All of it: the yellow chair. The blue slide and the yellow slide. The bridges. Walking "under" the sea. The fish and their bubbles. Everything. Even "yuck in the water" (seaweed to the unenlightened). Sam was describing a trip to Atlantis we’d taken many years ago. A trip I haven’t mentioned to him in many years. And he wanted to share his memories with me. Wow. Lesson learned. Sam remembers. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br />Wow. Wow. Wow. And wow. </span><br />
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Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-36464359998806818842014-01-17T14:14:00.001-05:002016-02-12T15:06:00.657-05:00The diagnosis
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigEsNb3gwJr7H52QOsKJEEKSdbma6db1jZ_lPncml5INRc8LU8Dq_8GHRRDnW_qH-aNcqTxEWK1JrSK_Kf41LeKsGO5EApwu0LrngUx3Yz7FFdAvSKEMxlc2Ec6n8ENEq-sVD93gcf_TBl/s1600/2829_1049222113359_3624050_n.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigEsNb3gwJr7H52QOsKJEEKSdbma6db1jZ_lPncml5INRc8LU8Dq_8GHRRDnW_qH-aNcqTxEWK1JrSK_Kf41LeKsGO5EApwu0LrngUx3Yz7FFdAvSKEMxlc2Ec6n8ENEq-sVD93gcf_TBl/s1600/2829_1049222113359_3624050_n.jpg" width="270" /></a></div>
“He doesn’t talk much” I remember someone saying, “are you worried about that?” Truth was, I wasn’t. I thought everything about Sam was perfect. Over the next month, I heard other moms whisper similar concerns.</div>
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At Sam's check up his pediatrician dismissed the worry. "Boys often talk late," he reassured, “Give him another month.” Much as I liked his answer, something made me investigate further. Two months into a six-month wait for an appointment, a cancelation at Children’s Hospital brought us to Boston on a bright January morning. Sam was two and a half. I hoped it was a short detour in our happily ever after life, that the doctors in Boston would echo Sam's pediatrician.</div>
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We were met by a team of smiling doctors. Introductions were made. “Isn’t he a happy boy. Look at those rosy cheeks,” one doctor remarked. “Oh if I could have those thick curls,” said another before they whisked Sam away to a separate room. “You’ll chat with us,” said yet another doctor, “We’ll need some history.”<br />
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A few hours later the same smiling doctors reconvened and delivered several blows.</div>
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Certain words still resonate global delays, auditory processing deficits, motor planning difficulties and sensory disorder. The words “behind his peers” assaulted my ears again and again and again. I studied their faces and tried to understand.</div>
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A phrase I’d never heard before, “Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)” was mentioned, debated and dismissed. Though they were not all in agreement, Sam’s stellar eye contact and joint attention prevented consensus within the group. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The look on one doctor’s face said in a sea of bad, this was possibly a very small glimmer of good.</div>
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They concluded with the words, “Connect with Early Intervention.” They smiled and complimented Sam’s beauty once more. They wished us luck and we were dismissed. We talked idly on the drive home, struggling to wrap our brains around the information provided; to make sense of this new foreign language. Sam, blissfully unaware, sang happily from the back seat.</div>
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I sat alone with Sam that night humming as I stared into his eyes and studied his face. Everything was different. Though I tried to dismiss it, I knew something had changed irrevocably. A dense fog had replaced the future that was crystal clear a day ago.</div>
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With Sam on my lap, I typed in the words, auditory processing, motor planning, global delays and sensory disorder and searched the Internet. As inconceivable as seems today, I only got six hits. I opened the first link. It began with the word “autism” followed by the words, “a devastating lifelong disorder.”</div>
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I closed the computer and took a deep breath.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
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Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-89588937720021266712013-12-31T15:33:00.004-05:002016-02-12T15:07:19.849-05:002013. The year of goodbye.
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinDWzvyS-cGUkEgaHbJ1Gd0x5yUT7jTfFK9fL9yaaaEoOlnTB8U0x1Qy-UMuqxtu74jLBc3nE9aNo9dqC8tXu-2bSJ0iZ0WGW3R7D1iRM25jQFW0OTx-Tk076pDav5ojCXobV1b1CC7-hR/s1600/2829_1049235113684_2309209_n.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinDWzvyS-cGUkEgaHbJ1Gd0x5yUT7jTfFK9fL9yaaaEoOlnTB8U0x1Qy-UMuqxtu74jLBc3nE9aNo9dqC8tXu-2bSJ0iZ0WGW3R7D1iRM25jQFW0OTx-Tk076pDav5ojCXobV1b1CC7-hR/s320/2829_1049235113684_2309209_n.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As I count down the waning hours of 2013 I can’t recall a New Year’s Day without my father.</span><span style="font-family: "arial";"> For the last 13 years, he joined us for every New Year’s Eve as well. Each New Year’s Eve, the phone would ring:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Jin. It's thy favorite father. </span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial";">Um, dad. You are my <u>only</u> father. </span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Well even if you had others, I'd still be your favorite. So when are you coming by?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">I liked that about my father. He was secure in his place with me; sure of my affection. He was certain of everyone’s affection. It never occurred to him that he wasn’t universally loved. He was genuinely surprised the handful of times he found out otherwise. Truth is, most people did like him. Once he flashed his infectious grin, he could get away with almost anything. I miss my adventures with him. And yes, I suspect even presented with other fathers, he'd still be my favorite.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">He won’t join me this New Year’s Eve, of course. For that reason, I am reluctant to close the door on 2013. 2014 starts a year in which he doesn’t exist. It marks the first full year he isn’t part of my life. I am not ready to put him squarely in the past. I want to linger in 2013 a little longer where I can still find him. Where I can still reach out my hand and almost touch him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">I am afraid if I stray too far from 2013 the sound of his laugh will grow too soft. I won’t hear the lilt in his voice as he calls out, “Jin!” I won’t be able to conjure up his smile. The image of his sturdy hands, the hands I studied thousands of times, will grow dim. I will forget which finger bore the scare from an old construction accident. I will loose my optimism without his steady presence. I am reluctant to enter a world without him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">But there it is. The future sits as it always has, squarely before me. The countdown continues, picking up greater and greater speed. I hear my father’s clear voice, telling me, “Jin, what comes, comes. You can't stop tomorrow from coming.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW5mZk3x2Cx3IQFiZe8xGU51DZTIjPkRol78kHDAoXBySBhkeZX-52zBa00EMQN_ZIkkmL9_BuIi9scovYhQ50utj-4UcgHxAFlbNeBQE-5pnTNVz-dJ47wu2cL8ziDjjONl0gCUsgnL30/s1600/at+the+beach.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW5mZk3x2Cx3IQFiZe8xGU51DZTIjPkRol78kHDAoXBySBhkeZX-52zBa00EMQN_ZIkkmL9_BuIi9scovYhQ50utj-4UcgHxAFlbNeBQE-5pnTNVz-dJ47wu2cL8ziDjjONl0gCUsgnL30/s320/at+the+beach.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial";">No, you can’t. It is time to go forward. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">But I won't let him go. I will etch it all in my mind. I will carry his laughter in my heart. I will take his well-loved ancients with me. I will carry him with me however far I travel. I will begin tomorrow with his smile. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="color: #e69138;">Follow us on facebook at </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism" style="color: #e69138;">https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism</a> </span></i></span></div>
Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-42803049938567199372013-11-26T13:23:00.000-05:002019-03-05T20:48:35.203-05:00Patina<br />
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I bought a table some time back. It was big, sturdy and distressed from an earlier life. Tony questioned the price but I said it was worth it. We wouldn’t fret over each dent or mark; in fact, our wear would add to the beauty and become part of its history. I liked the idea of leaving a “fingerprint” behind. Hopefully, one day this table will pass along to someone else.</div>
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The beauty of the well-worn fascinates me. I imagine the stories behind the marks. Who used this before us? Was it always this rich shade of golden brown? Where has it traveled? Where has it yet to go? How did it achieve this lovely patina?</div>
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Wear and tear are unavoidable. Bumps, bruises, wrinkles, and scars, they are all part of living – a visual proof of endurance, an inevitable part of creating history and memories. That wear and tear eventually become our personal patina.</div>
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There is beauty in what is pristine and new, it’s true. I am sad when something is chipped or altered. But the only way to preserve perfection is to curtail use. A vase tucked behind glass is safe but rarely finds itself full of flowers.</div>
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I don’t like the wrinkles that announce the passage of time. I try not to sweat those inevitable changes, though. I am learning it is better to have patina than beauty. Beauty fades. Patina endures. Patina grows richer with each passing year.</div>
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Without a little patina, there has been no life.<br />
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Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-5349933708551872822013-11-06T17:23:00.001-05:002016-02-12T15:09:03.663-05:00An old country man
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If my father were here, he’d tell you his father was an old country man. He would say with a certain pride his father came here at a very young age, unable to read or write English. He would tell you that armed with a dollar pick and shovel he built a business that continues to shape lives three generations later. He would tell you his father eloped with the girl of his dreams, rebelling against every convention of his day.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">He would also tell you my grandfather lost that girl during the depression, leaving him with nine children to rear. He would tell you his father managed to keep his family together and kept his business going during trying times. That he raised four sons who served their country honorably. He would tell you his father did his best under the most difficult circumstances. “Not bad for an old country man.” He would say.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It was through these stories my father taught me about family, loyalty, work ethic and honesty. I learned about honor and humility. I learned about giving back when he shared what his father had told him, “Do good and forget.” He taught me without my word I had nothing.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">My father's stories were constant in my life.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">There was one story my father told frequently, saying it as he heard his father, right down to the Italian accent. It sounded like, “Nonj you know? You no go looking for me. I go looking for you.”</span> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">“Do you know what that means?” my father would ask. “It means no matter what you do, I will always be your father. Nothing you do can ever change that. It means you didn’t ask to be born, I invited you here.” </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">When Sam first showed signs of differences, my father told me to believe in Sam. “Things have a way of working out,” he said. “He is a beautiful boy. You wait, he will surprise you.” As he watched Sam he would add, “Don’t forget what your grandfather said: 'Nonj you know? You no go looking for me, I go looking for you.’ Sam didn't ask to be born. We invited him here.” I heard those words many times over the years. They were among his final words to me regarding Sam.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Today on what would have been my father's 90<sup>th</sup> birthday, I remember the words of my father and grandfather. Tonight I will say them to Sam, to honor my father’s memory, to keep his stories alive. </span> I think my father would like that. <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I hope Sam will find in them the security my father found and the security I was lucky enough to know all my life. </span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span> <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Nonj you know?</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Yes, Dad, I know. I finally know.</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span> <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Follow us on facebook at </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism</span><br />
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Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-17545561024582908892013-11-01T15:43:00.000-04:002013-11-03T12:01:03.137-05:00A busy June weekend<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was a pretty big weekend. We broke in a new behaviorist,
Sam participated in an art show and there was a wedding.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First the behaviorist: We are delighted to have the extra
set of eyes and ears and hope he can help untangle the communication behind Sam’s behavior. Collecting all the data is tedious; we repeatedly run through the litany of questions. Still we know it will bring us
to a better place.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p>We’re off to a good start. Sam has been pretty accepting of this
intrusion into his life. The behaviorist is armed and ready for anything Sam
throws his way. So stay tuned. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-align: center;">Next, the art show: First off, it was juried. Second, Sam’s
work was accepted. Third, they chose his drawing, “Colored Hearts” for the
invitation. How cool is that? </span>Sam, who avoids noisy crowds, was in his element at the
opening. With a huge smile he happily posed by his artwork. He sold “Colored
Hearts” and his second entry, “Two Pears” is under consideration for sale. Not bad for
his second juried show in his entire lifetime.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And now about that wedding: Sam casually told me he married Vanna
White on Sunday. “Huh?” I asked. “You married to Vanna White?” “Yes,” Sam
confirmed definitively. “What about MaryKate? I thought you wanted to marry MaryKate.” Sam seemed
unconcerned saying, “No MaryKate. Vanna White.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The funny thing is, I was with Sam all day so I don’t know
how I missed the wedding. Still, he assures me he is married to Vanna White. It
must have been a very secret ceremony. As far back as I can remember he has
wanted to marry MaryKate. And now he has run off and married Vanna. Well OK then. Life
is full of surprises. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As Sam’s mother, I am wrestling some obvious issues: Vanna is
older. She probably lives in California. I think all those
letters she turns captivated Sam and stole him away from MaryKate. Many thoughts run through my mind. How will this work? Will Sam be happy? Should I clear my clothes off the guest bedroom bed? Will I get a spot on Wheel of Fortune? Is the
alphabet alone enough to sustain a marriage? Maybe. Sam does love his letters.<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoGlEdpH8SNvAVO3fhLnJZKfDdOMv-d5VDHZpu5ddJJnceV8SRHqODeHqDK_joqy3jmtrVX_BHB3QBVSM5vUqk94KKrR9i-2hLwtlcNnAn-Etg5yOTH5VgJQAPkvg0EfrxFZAfhDChZPNb/s1600/art+from+the+heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoGlEdpH8SNvAVO3fhLnJZKfDdOMv-d5VDHZpu5ddJJnceV8SRHqODeHqDK_joqy3jmtrVX_BHB3QBVSM5vUqk94KKrR9i-2hLwtlcNnAn-Etg5yOTH5VgJQAPkvg0EfrxFZAfhDChZPNb/s640/art+from+the+heart.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Follow us on Facebook at<a href="https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism"> https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism</a></i></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<!--EndFragment-->Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-70706699279948343772013-10-22T16:47:00.001-04:002016-02-12T15:10:59.782-05:00The burden
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The words slipped out of his mouth with seeming ease. They were spoken before I could stop them. “Of course, you love your son, but I can’t imagine the burden of living with him.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He was attempting empathy. He was trying to understand my life. But he had it all wrong. Though I was surprised by his words, I didn’t respond. Perhaps because of my silence, he thought I hadn’t heard. He said again “I can’t imagine the burden you carry. All the work.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He couldn’t imagine my life. I understood that. Fair enough. Perhaps I wouldn't understand his life either. It can be hard to understand a life you haven’t lived.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I watched him shake his head again saying once again, “all the work, the burden of it all” and then trailing off. In total he used the word “burden” four times, making it clear he saw the only sadness in my son’s existence. I smiled politely, responding, “I don’t see Sam that way.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thought about his words after he left. About how someone, without ever meeting Sam, could sum up his life into the single word: burden.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I thought he would have understood, I might have partly agreed. Sam IS a lot of work. He had that right. I would have then suggested most everything worth doing requires effort. Most of life’s achievements, large or small require work.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC6CvkmWdLKegLrk6sVIj4YqfzzS4g37JHZAEHjlOWhyXq5xubgbL0e4LgsveVJok24_dJ-qenPWxLCJ9CbK_AChukhbYaSf5b4T49nLAM2pbnelzJ_VhadCrL7Q4xXnu6pa_FEt7e8t8s/s1600/996008_10200680974729332_1490644923_n.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC6CvkmWdLKegLrk6sVIj4YqfzzS4g37JHZAEHjlOWhyXq5xubgbL0e4LgsveVJok24_dJ-qenPWxLCJ9CbK_AChukhbYaSf5b4T49nLAM2pbnelzJ_VhadCrL7Q4xXnu6pa_FEt7e8t8s/s320/996008_10200680974729332_1490644923_n.jpg" width="296" /></a>I might have pointed out the difference between the words “work” and “burden.” I might have said I look at our life with a sense of satisfaction. That we are in a good place, that there is joy in our life, joy in our home.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
I don’t think he would have understood.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was a time when his viewpoint might have crushed me; when I would have felt compelled to argue Sam’s worth. A different viewpoint no longer defines us.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A single word does not define Sam.<br />
<br />
<br />
<i style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Follow us on Facebook at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism" style="text-decoration: none;">https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism</a></i><br />
<div>
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Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-151941664169881052013-10-11T16:26:00.002-04:002013-10-23T11:31:55.223-04:00Our lens<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">In the beginning I had a
plan. I had certain dreams. Certain expectations. But life doesn’t always
respect a plan. That is how it was with us. There was the “plan” and what
actually came to pass. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Our early years became a
blur when Sam showed signs of atypical development. I was hurled into survival
mode while trying to make sense of it all. At the insistence of the specialists
and the folks at Early Intervention, survival quickly morphed into “fix it” mode,
effectively entering us into a war with destiny. Everyone was consumed with
changing the path we’d been put on. They told me time was my enemy. I struggled
to help Sam keep up as time spun relentlessly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Each day was a roller
coaster of highs and lows; a jumble of emotions, intricately tangled together,
exceeding what seemed humanly possible. Emotions so big I thought they’d
swallow us whole. I struggled; enamored with the child I had and saddened by everyone’s
desire to change him. Unsure of what to do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Sam, all the while, took
most days in stride; forcing us to slow down, even stop to find joy in little
things we might have otherwise missed. Within the sea of doctors and experts advising
us of how to “fix” our child, Sam was the “voice” of reason, compelling us to
find balance between the world we were told we wanted and the world we’d been
handed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">In a blink, eighteen years
passed. And in spite of everyone’s best efforts, Sam’s path never changed. The
only path that changed was mine. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Raising Sam changed
forever the lens I used to view life. He altered every perception, every
understanding of what was important. He challenged every belief I held dear. He
humbled me. He made it impossible to ever be the careless person I once was. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">At first it was hard to
let go society’s image of perfection. I didn’t know anything about raising a
child with a disability. I was flying blind. Some days seemed endless. Progress
was often slow. But somehow on the most difficult days I’d look into a pair of bright
dark eyes and see a smile with the power to melt every frustration, to make
everything inexplicably right. I knew the warmth of a hand that reached into my
heart, compelling me to surrender.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Slowly over time I
reconciled myself to the challenges; learned to see the perfection in what we
had. And eventually there was peace. As we charted our own course I finally opened
my eyes and saw before me the child I never expected, but knew beyond any doubt
was exactly the child I’d waited my lifetime to find.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">And it was good. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span>
<br />
<i style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Follow us on Facebook at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism" style="text-decoration: none;">https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism</a></i><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
</div>
</div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-63643841627523616582013-10-10T17:12:00.001-04:002013-10-22T16:49:56.934-04:00Seizures and dog biscuits<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Sam had a seizure Sunday. He stood at the top of a flight of
stairs and stumbled as the seizure began. Fortunately our quick-witted puppy,
Mr. Dog, saw him standing precariously and sounded an alert with a loud bark. I
was by Sam’s side within a second.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I held Sam safe until the seizure stopped and then carefully
sat him down on the stairs, holding him until I was certain he was OK. Certain
that he was stable. Mr. Dog stood at attention behind Sam, waiting I am guessing, for the very
same assurance. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As the seizure waned, Sam looked at me blankly, unsure of
what was going on. He announced his tongue hurt, shook off his confusion and
went about the remainder of his day, seemingly unscathed. Crisis averted, Mr.
Dog wandered off to resume his nap. Everyone was fine it seemed. Except me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I couldn’t wipe the “what might have happened” image from my
mind. I needed something to refocus. With that in mind, I called Sam to make dog
biscuits for Mr. Dog as a reward him for watching Sam so carefully. I hoped the busy work would be distracting. Still, I couldn’t
turn my mind off. I kept envisioning what might have happened. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As we worked, I looked over at Sam. He was by my side mixing
ingredients, helping me roll the dough then methodically cutting the biscuits
into bone shapes. He sang happily as he placed them neatly on the pan. I
admired his serenity as he approached the task at hand. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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That is how it is with Sam. He lives mostly in the immediate.
What is past is past. The future is the future. His places his attention squarely
on what surrounds him. He compelled me to join him in the present; drawing my
attention to a happy moment I would have otherwise missed. He provided the grace note to get me through the difficult thoughts. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I looked around again. Calm permeated the room. Sam was
safe. A phone call to the doctor would be made on Monday morning. The biscuits
were in the oven. Mr. Dog was sniffing something good in the air. We were lucky
today. Lucky indeed. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<br />
<i style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Follow us on Facebook at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism" style="text-decoration: none;">https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism</a></i><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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</div>
</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-42380055454987793492013-10-04T16:19:00.001-04:002013-10-22T16:49:45.307-04:00Patience<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Patience. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We start. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Methodical. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Consistent.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Patient. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Seemingly standing still.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Present the information. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Over and over.<o:p></o:p><br />
Again and again.</div>
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Ask the question again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Try, try again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not quite.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why didn’t he understand?<o:p></o:p></div>
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He wasn’t ready.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Another day it will happen.<o:p></o:p><br />
Maybe tomorrow.<br />
Try again.</div>
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Today was the day. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Why today?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He was ready.<o:p></o:p></div>
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He was finally just ready.<o:p></o:p></div>
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All the pieces came together. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The pieces fit like a puzzle<o:p></o:p></div>
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It clicked.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It snapped into place.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He got it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Victory at last.<o:p></o:p></div>
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A small cheer.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We move forward.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We move on.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another concept.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
More to learn.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We begin again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Patience. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<br />
<i style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Follow us on Facebook at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism" style="text-decoration: none;">https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism</a></i><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
</div>
</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-57251245687100309082013-09-19T11:45:00.000-04:002014-10-22T14:57:38.487-04:00The inexcusable <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">She was sick. I get that.
She was probably tired. Afraid. Maybe alone. I get all that, too. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Another child with autism
has died at the hands of their mother. Once again the media has rallied to the
defense. Once again the blame has been placed on the difficult nature of the child. There was no mention of the grievous loss of a life that ended too soon; of what might have been.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I have been struggling to
find the right words to respond only to find there are no exact right words. Remove the "autism" and this act would be
decried as senseless, inexcusable and tragic. There would be universal outrage. </span><span style="font-family: Arial;">But because this child was
diagnosed with autism, I am to believe her actions are understandable. That this child's life was unworthy of living.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Each time the media
reports this way, they devalue the life every disabled child. They devalue <i>my </i>child. Each time the media spins the
story suggesting an act of violence against a “difficult” child is acceptable;
we are placed in the position of defending why we, as adults, have no right to
harm any child.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Her life was hard, they
said. The child was difficult.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I haven't lived this
woman's life. I am not judging her mental health. I have lived a version of her life, though. I have lived through behaviors
that are beyond challenging; I understand the kind of care that consumes a life.
I understand despair. I understand fear. I understand endless sleepless nights. I understand
exhaustion. I understand feeling alone. I understand. That a mother was of the belief she had no other choice is heartbreaking. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">There are options other
than taking a life. The media needs to understand this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I object to the notation
it is somehow excusable to harm a child out of frustration, exhaustion or lack of
resources when that child has autism. I object to the notion that certain children are less worthy of protection.
A child’s most challenging times are cries for help. You do not answer that cry by
taking their life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">And to my Sam I say: I
signed up for this. You didn’t ask to be born. Like those vows I took in
marriage, for better or worse in sickness and health, you are my child. We are
bound together for life. It is my sacred oath, my privilege to keep you safe. You
are my heart. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism"><br /></a></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Follow us on Facebook at: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism">https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism</a></i></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-10619591981019449742013-09-06T14:32:00.000-04:002013-09-06T18:09:23.664-04:00About Blonds<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Sam has always had a thing for blonds. I remember him as a
toddler. He would look with interest at the glossy pictures of magazine models,
always brightening when he saw a smiling blond.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One day I showed him a series of ads. Sure enough, he smiled
at the blonds and dismissed the brunettes. In preschool, he preferred his blond
sitters and therapists. Eventually his fascination with blonds seemed to wane
until I forgot about it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then, years later came the summer I remember as the “Summer
of the Blonds.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was the summer Sam woke one morning and decided our home was
undesirable. Honing his Houdini skills he escaped whenever he could to the
neighbor’s house: a beautiful family with a picture perfect blond mom and dad
and four equally perfect blond kids and a TV just like ours.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The split second we were distracted, the phone would ring.
Mrs. Blond’s kind voice would say, “Yes, Sam is here again.” We’d assure her we
really did watch him. Though I am sure she didn’t believe us; though she likely thought us the worst parents ever, she always patiently said, “Don’t rush, he is fine, watching TV my kids.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ninety seconds later I’d be on her doorstep. Once inside, I would find
Sam with his dark curly hair and Mediterranean coloring in the middle of her
sofa in command of the remote control, surrounded by her blond children, watching TV. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The blond children wore colorful
shorts and tees. Sam wore his escape uniform: underpants on backwards and white tee shirt. The contrast between Sam and the other children always
reminded me of a work sheet where you chose the item that didn’t belong. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Sam
visited for about one summer and then, as curiously as it began, Sam stopped
visiting the Blond Family, marking the end of his second blond fascination. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I didn’t think about Sam’s periodic interest in blonds until
this summer when I heard Sam ask, “Mommy! Let’s go shopping!” “What should we
buy?” I asked, expecting him to inquire about a favorite DVD. Instead I heard,
“A new different Mommy.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“A new different Mommy?” I asked, surprised. “Yes! A new
different mommy” he confirmed. Though I already knew the answer I asked, “What
color hair: blond or brunette?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Blond. Yes. Blond” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ8ISAO8OFCcDNftOUOKjGljQ-CV3oXZpom1s89V8amqBWwc2WkmkRCbDlq_jEb__ABBFD1covQBl1Fe8dFkpmDAXyEsPhvGrVrcQp8Coc4GWE0a52qNQekbAfPkxe-BiYXWmyg5ItN2tP/s1600/photo%5B7%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ8ISAO8OFCcDNftOUOKjGljQ-CV3oXZpom1s89V8amqBWwc2WkmkRCbDlq_jEb__ABBFD1covQBl1Fe8dFkpmDAXyEsPhvGrVrcQp8Coc4GWE0a52qNQekbAfPkxe-BiYXWmyg5ItN2tP/s320/photo%5B7%5D.JPG" width="320" /></a>“Sammy,” I said, “I don’t think you can buy blond mommies or
any mommies.” But Sam insisted we go shopping prompting me to ask, “Where do
they sell them?” Sam answered confidently, “At the drug store. Mommy. Go
shopping. New different Mommy.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tonight we’re shopping for a new blond mommy. At Rite Aid. I don't know why Sam wants a replacement Mommy. I am hopeful he is only looking for a spare, just in case I wear out. Still, if we happen to find one on sale, I am not paying. He can use his own money for that.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Follow us on Facebook at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism" style="text-decoration: none;">https://www.facebook.com/BlendingWithAutism</a></i><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Blending with autismhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12459227196245801439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8220802105983148294.post-81458044761497558862013-09-05T12:45:00.002-04:002013-09-10T10:55:44.136-04:00Learning experiences from Sam and Mr. Dog<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">As far back as I can remember, everyone knew my father.. People just remembered him. I once asked him why. He said when you have children or a dog, you meet a lot of people. And they remember you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">My father
was right: you do meet a lot of people when you have a child or a dog. He never gave his opinion on why this happens. It doesn't matter. I am sure his reasons would have been different than mine. For me, b</span><span style="font-family: Arial;">lending into a crowd is all but impossible with Sam. </span><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">The recent addition of Mr. Dog makes us stand out a little more, if that is possible. Navigating the
world with Sam and Mr. Dog is like </span><span style="font-family: Arial;">traveling with a giant neon
sign blinking over my head. We are that hard to miss. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Over the years I have learned many things. Some from Sam. others, more recenly from Mr. Dog. Many serve to </span><span style="font-family: Arial;">explain why that giant blinking light will likely never turn off:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Sam
and Mr. Dog are in cahoots. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">The
unexpected is my norm. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Sam
is Houdini. He can defeat any lock and escape through a crack.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">He
is also a human tape recorder. If I don't want it repeated, never say it
ever within his hearing. Not even once.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Mr.
Dog is also Houdini. He can defeat any lock and escape through a crack.
Fortunately he does not repeat what I say.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">If I
don't unpack my overnight bag immediately, Mr. Dog will find my bra, eat half
and wear the other half as a party hat.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Hide
all men’s underwear. Mr. Dog eats men's underwear.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Sam
knows the very second I stop watching. He will use this to his advantage in
ways that defy imagination. Yes, Mr. Dog knows this, too and is equally
creative.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Though
I crave it, though I am tempted to enjoy it, quiet is my enemy. Always
investigate when the house grows too quiet.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">The
minute I leave the room, Sam will escape to the neighbor’s house. I will find
him sitting in his underwear (worn backwards) watching their TV. On more formal
occasions, he will also wear a tee shirt.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Be
prepared. Mr. Dog thinks the beach is a giant toilet. Urinating in front
of a crowd is just fun. Pooping on the departure ramp of a ferryboat as
hundreds disembark is even more fun.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Sam
has amazing hearing. He can hear a candy wrapper open three states away. He
will lunge for that candy across a canyon if necessary.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">I am
not expected to attend the secret parties that Sam throws in the middle of the
night. I am only needed to rinse the empty ice cream bowls in the morning for
use the following night.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">If I
leave my Facebook account unattended, strange posts will appear.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Pronouns
will be the death of me: When Sam passes gas he will most certainly announce
"You pooped." His voice will punctuate the room and everyone will
look.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Ditto
burping.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">The
minute I brag about Sam, Murphy's Law will strike and he will do something
dreadful.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Sam
will periodically wake me at 4 AM to remind me he is not a vampire.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Mr.
Dog loves to eat laundry. Clean will do; dirty is preferable. The doorbell will
ring and Mr. Dog will greet the visitor with underwear hanging from his mouth.
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">If
something doesn't smell right, investigate. This is applies to both Sam and Mr.
Dog.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">The
best place to take a nap or recline is on my freshly ironed dress laid on my
bed. Just ask Sam and Mr. Dog.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Mr.
Dog eats plants. Mr. Dog eats anything. Mr. Dog will eventually eat the entire
house one piece at a time.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Mr.
Dog is blessed with a powerful nose and can smell an ancient crumb of food 5
miles away.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Mr.
Dog thinks the beach is a seafood buffet. He will eat vast quantities of wet
sand and puke. He will not puke outside. He will wait until he gets inside the
house. Preferably on a carpet.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">The
doggie poop bag will refuse to open at the worst moments.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #1d1d1d; font-family: Arial;">If I yell, "Jesus Christ!" while driving because
someone cut me off, the world will know. Sam will repeat to everyone for
several weeks, "Mommy yelled: Chezets Christ!" </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Mr.
Dog stalks power cords. He will carefully select the most expensive one and
chew it in half.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Do
not brag about how easy it has been to housebreak Mr. Dog. He will urinate on
the most expensive carpet within 2 hour of said statement. Guaranteed.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Be
prepared. Pants fall down (and I do mean fall down) at the most inopportune
moments. Ditto bathing suits.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">The
front of my shirt can double as a napkin. Or tissue. Or whatever. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">No
matter how many dog toys I buy, Mr. Dog still thinks the scrub brush for your
toilet is a chew toy.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Sam
will leave the refrigerator and/or freezer door open on the hottest day of
summer. On the bright side, my kitchen is cooler.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Mr.
Dog is blessed with a shrill whine that will wake the dead. He will use this
gift most effectively at 5:10 AM.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Sam
will only flush the toilet when a giant roll of toilet paper has fallen in. The
toilet will then flood.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Rain on an otherwise clear day = investigate.
Odds are the bathtub is overflowing and it is "raining" </span><span style="font-family: Arial;">down the</span><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">
ceilings.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">It's
always "Dancin' time" somewhere.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">If
my face is in the same zip code as Mr. Dog's, he will find a way to lick it.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Tennis
matches include a celebratory dance. Sometimes there is an accompanying song.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Do
not leave discarded dryer lint unattended. Mr. Dog will chew it until it is
disgusting and soggy and spit it out like used tobacco. I will step on it,
barefoot. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: large;">It
is fun to push a hassock with wheels down a flight of stairs and watch it roll
past an unexpected victim. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">If I think, "Sam would never do
that!" in a haughty </span><span style="font-family: Arial;">manner</span><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">,
odds I am right. He will instead do something far worse.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">My
muffin will be eaten by Sam or Mr. Dog. Likely by both the moment I look away.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Mr.
Dog's idea of nirvana includes sniffing another dog's butt. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sam
will ask if I am wearing underwear the second a crowded room grows silent.
Everyone will stare at me waiting for the answer.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">If a
towel is on the counter wet and you do not know how it became wet, do not use
it. I repeat. DO NOT USE IT. Trust me on this. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Be
afraid of door number three. No matter how much you are tempted, don't open it.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie5CTXbiXWuh5yGe4xEV_161-Zm63RCaqwTR4JO2vvHpfZRsNzR6YaFBnAUTuLvzmXa7TpZMybuC0sHTiWfS6TRkWkQtjDGTQoyoqJ8h7EUmyo1SRwE4zwi2Dsed47jUPyxm03m7JzhHj7/s1600/photo%5B20%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie5CTXbiXWuh5yGe4xEV_161-Zm63RCaqwTR4JO2vvHpfZRsNzR6YaFBnAUTuLvzmXa7TpZMybuC0sHTiWfS6TRkWkQtjDGTQoyoqJ8h7EUmyo1SRwE4zwi2Dsed47jUPyxm03m7JzhHj7/s320/photo%5B20%5D.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Mr.
Dog will sometimes smell like, well, a dog. Sam may at times smell worse. Those
smells will merge on my shirt and I will smell like Eau de Peuw.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large; text-align: center;">Any sentence beginning with the words, "Janet, you need
to see this." will not end well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">The most important lesson I've learned? It's all OK. Even
at the most challenging times I would not trade either of them. Not even for a moment.</span></div>
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