Tuesday, February 5, 2013

The boy in the shadow

There is a boy I will never know. I rarely think of him. But late at night when I can’t sleep, at the juncture of certain milestones, he slips into my mind. Living in a shadow out there somewhere is the boy who might have been.

I wonder about that boy in the shadow. What would life with him been like?

With his rugged looks, would there have been a girlfriend by now? Would his big, sturdy hands put him on a football team? Would his easy smile and quest for laughter made him an easy friend? Would he be leaving soon for a college far away? Would he explore the world through art or maybe math? 

I might have liked to spend time with him, that boy in the shadow. But as I peer in on my sweet Sam I know I would have to give up the boy who sleeps peacefully before me for that to happen.

I can't imagine life without the boy I have. This is the boy I love, full of joy and good. I feel a familiar sharp pain in my heart. And with that I say goodbye to the boy in the shadow. 

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