Thursday, January 17, 2013

What's the plan?


Each morning I wake to the words, “What’s the plan?”

Because Sam lives in the immediate future it is an easy question to answer. Most days it is simply: “First get dressed, then eat breakfast, then go to school, come home and see Mommy. It’s a good plan.”

Sam officially blesses the plan by echoing, “Is a good plan.”  On the rare occasion the plan does not meet his approval he provides an alternate plan: “First get dressed. Put on my Sam’s shoes. Drive the car to the store. Buy some DVDs. Shrek Two, disk 2. Mommy, disk 2. Disk 2, Mommy!” Negotiations are generally simple and straightforward.

My Sam likes a plan. He takes comfort knowing what’s ahead.

I’ve never been a planner. I prefer keeping my options open and focusing only as far ahead as necessary. Where will we go tonight? What’s happening on the weekend? I am more inclined to ask, “Do we really need to make reservations that far in advance?”

Lately though, thoughts of tomorrow are on my mind as I begin to navigate the murky waters of Sam’s future. The first seventeen years have passed with remarkable speed. Our collision course with eighteen demands we look ahead. The tall teen before me is no longer a child.

I wish we could cling to today where Sam is safe and happy and loved. But only by planning for the tomorrows ahead that I can hope to provide him the same security. But what does the future look like? How will I know what I've crafted is right? As I ask these questions, I understand the comfort Sam finds in knowing “the plan" is complete. Like Sam I find myself asking again and again, "What's the plan?"

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2 comments:

  1. I know you will find the perfect plan Janet.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks! Or hopefully, as Sam would say, "is a good plan."

    ReplyDelete