Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The truth is overrated

I want someone to lie to me. Really I do. Not a big you'll end in jail kind of lie. Just a harmless little fib. Living in a house with an analytical thinker and and a brain wired courtesy of autism, you don't get lied to much. Generally this is a good – even enviable or desirable. But there are those instances when only a white lie will do.

Case and point:

Sam: Mommy is a pest.
Me: You think Mommy is a pest?
Sam: Yes. Pest.

Me: How does this look?
Tony: Kind of makes you look fat.
Sam: Mommy is fat.
Me: Thank you. You both look wonderful, too.

Sam: Stop singing Mommy.
Me: Don't you like my singing?
Sam: No. Mommy stop singing.

Me: How do you like the brussell sprouts?
Tony: They aren't horrible. They kind of taste like dirt.

Me: Sam, eat your veggies, please.
Sam: Mommy is a big pest. Not a little pest. A big pest.

Tony: Wow. You don't look so good today.
Me: Thanks. You look great, too.

Me: Do you like my shoes?
Tony: They are kind of ugly.
Me: Thank you.

Me: Sammy, who do you love?
Sam: Fiona.
Me: Good to know.

Tony: (After looking at old pictures) Wow. We look old.
Me: Thank you. Kind of you to share that comment.

Sam: Mommy is a dope.
Me: Sammy, where do you learn this stuff. Mommy is not a dope.
Sam: Mommy is a dope.

Me: Maybe they remember us because we're snappy dressers.
Tony: No. That's not it. You don't dress that well.

All I can say is thank you, Tony and Sam for sharing all those candid thoughts. I've got honesty coming at me every which way.

Now please, just for a day. Don't tell me what you are thinking. I don't want to know what's really running through your mind. Just once. Tell me what I want to hear.

Like I said, the truth is overrated. At least at my house.


  1. You are by far the most fabulous of my admittedly rather old friends.

    1. Wow. This plea for white lies is really working out well for me today.

  2. You are beautiful.
    You are a great dresser.
    You are not a pest. Seriously, I was your kid's speech therapist. There were pests. You were not one of them. (You can tell Tony he was not one of them either.)
    Sorry it took me so long to get to this. I've been dreadful about reading your blog, but it's kind of fun to catch up on a bunch of posts like this.

    1. I am collecting all these nice comments, truthful or not. The next time Tony or Sam open their mouths, I am reading each and every one to them. And then I am going to just sit there and smile.