Monday, September 10, 2012

It’s publically private

After an almost perfectly wonderful afternoon on the soccer field with Sam yesterday afternoon I posted the following on my Blending with Autism page:

Beautiful weather for the first day of soccer. Sam played well and earned respect when he was (I quote) “hit in a sensitive area and took it.” Then he asked his coach to “kiss it.” Yup. Needless to say that request was politely denied. Thanks to Dante for being such a good sport.

This isn’t the first time Sam has made a request of this nature. Just ask Kelsey. After Sam landed on his butt one day, he pointed to his bottom and demanded of Kelsey, “Kiss it.” When she read yesterday’s post she quickly responded: “I think this beats out the time he asked me to kiss his butt.”

Yes Kelsey, I agree. You've been trumped. But only by a little.

At the beach I got a “kiss it” request too. Absentmindedly I asked, “Where?” For my inattention, I was rewarded with a visual not for the faint of heart. Sam yanked down the front of his wet bathing suit, pointing to an area clearly chaffed. Needless to say, no kiss was provided and his suit was quickly yanked up. I like to think of these as teachable moments. My lesson? No absentminded responses. Particularly not in public.

My friend Erica pointed out anytime you begin a sentence with, “Well the first time Sam asked me to kiss his privates...” it implies you’ve gotten this request on multiple occasions. Gulp. Guilty as charged. Message received loud and clear. We are over due in explaining to Sam a kiss won’t cure what ails you.

It’s kind of like saying good-bye to Santa Claus, though.

Part of me loves that Sam still believes I can fix everything with a simple kiss. A part of me will miss the innocence.  But I can’t have him wandering around thirty years from now asking a stranger to kiss his privates either. He will likely get slugged. Or worse.

So here we go with another transition. For that reason you may have heard and will hear Sam mumbling “no private; no public.” It has been a big topic in recent months. In the interest of simplicity we’ve boiled it down to:

Private = bedroom or bathroom.
Public = everywhere else.

Once he gets that down, we can use it as a springboard for a host of topics surrounding propriety. We hope. 

To Dante, Kelsey and and anyone I've missed, sorry about that. I appreciate your patience during this learning curve. We'll continue to work on it. You are the best.

Follow us on Facebook at


  1. Oh my. You know how people say there's no handbook for raising kids? This blog is sort of becoming one, specifically directed at raising Sam, but there are lessons in it every parent could benefit from.

    1. If there was such a thing as a "do over" I might get all right the second time around. But then life would be perfect, everyone would hate me for it and what would I write about?